Saturday, September 1, 2012

Learning to Purrrr-severe

My cat is the most annoying creature to ever walk the planet.

She has soft, fluffy white fur, stunning blue eyes, and the most adorable pink nose you've ever seen--which is lucky for her because if she weren't so cute I'm not sure I would have tolerated her all these years. Don't judge me! She stands on my pillow in the middle of the night and screams directly in my ear. When that doesn't wake me up she knocks things off my night stand--sometimes my lamp falls over and hits me in the head. Oh, and she also refuses to poo in the litter box.

She is so persistent we almost always give in to her. It's just easier to wake up and pet her in the middle of the night than to sweep up the shards of glass the next morning. A few hours ago, I had finally gotten the baby to sleep. I was holding her in the recliner about to drift off myself when the cat came prancing over and jumped into my lap. This, of course, is where the baby was sleeping. So I picked the cat up with my free hand and put her in the floor. She jumped back up... maybe 10 times until I just scooted over and made room. She purred and fell asleep.

I wanted to ring her neck, but I also kind of admire how she is so unphased by rejection. She just keeps going for what she wants, and she doesn't give a shit what anyone else thinks. Cats are like that--and I want learn to be more like that, too. All too often I let rejection or criticism (or the fear of rejection or criticism) stop me from going for what I want in life.

Yoga has been great training. I've been try-try-trying for a decade to square my hips in Warrior I. I fell on my face a million times before I finally balanced in Bakasana. I might not ever be able to balance in Handstand in the middle of the room--not because I'm too weak, but because I'm too scared. But I know I have to keep trying, not to achieve the pose, but to overcome the fear.